ello! And welcome to the Mario Kart Religion Page! Mario Kart is the best game on Earth. Anyone who has played this knows. It needs greater strategy than the Japanese game Go, greater planning than chess, and greater sophistication than authenticated military war games.
Mario Kart is more than just a game, however. It is a complex religion developed in the foothills of New Hampshire, along the Connecticut River... only a true Mario Kart Player's soul is pure enough to comprehend the awe of this way of life. A Mario Kart follower, or Mariosymbiont, as we prefer to be called, must believe in six things:
Mario is god.
The Princess is better than our god at cornering and accelerating.
Perfection at Battle Mode is the inner light that all Mariosymbionts search for in their journey through life.
Dolby Surround Sound is the choir that delivers the words of our god.
Red shells are described by our god as gifts of plenty; to not use them is to spit in the face of our god.
Finally, all Mariosymbionts believe that beyond the Rainbow Road lies the gateways to Heaven, and if you hit a chevron and have a feather, you may one day be with god (when he isn't driving around and hitting you with red shells.)
So those are our beliefs. However, the very essence of all said here is not easily comprehended by non-believers. It would be impossible to just give the ideas and principles away over the Internet, it just can't be done. However, if you fill out the f orm below, we can make you a member of the Mario Kart Religion for free! Then you can get our nifty newsletter telling you all about the Mario Kart Religion and upcoming events, such as the annual Mariosymbiont's conference, where you can get stickers an d Mario blood to hold your own Mario worshipping at home. Also, you can have your name posted on this page, showing the world how you are an avid Mario Kart Player, and how the kid you always beat at Battle Mode sucks because he doesn't have his name her e.
Click below to read a psalm or two from The Bible of Mario! It is said that only the pure can cleary read from The Bible of Mario!
On our Sabbath day Mario came down from from Rainbow Road, our gate-way to heaven, and told to the heathens of Vanilla Plains "Do not fear me... the great Lord Mario will supply and protect you..." with this the great Lord Mario held up a mushroom and sai d to us from on high, "Take this all of you and eat it. It is the food that provides me with sustanance, like a fine Italian meatball." This is the word of our Lord Mario, and all who dwell within his domain.
The Kart Master Dean Karasinski Alex "Pimp Daddy" Quigley Brother Galuten Brother Aaron Naylor Brother Shiloh Otavio Vasconcelos de Azevedo James Gilliam Kevin Jackson Mike Autry Ryan Craver Dave E. Pratt Jr. Cole Iobst Jonathan Desrochers L Noah Galuten Scott Selwa Jason Goedmakers Kyle Autry Alex Ahmed Niki Peters Mit Nosredna Michael Siourounis Gus Milner John Kulach Dan Friis Dick Tolhurst Henry Wagor Ben Florence Donovan Pederso Russell Ryan Eric Lucan Aaron Kahn HIDDEN BY REQUEST Battle Master Terry Sir Tim of Shorewood Joe Waltz Blake Owen Nathaniel "Nate Dogg" Mauritz Ian Thompson Matt Berard Jim McDeitrick Mandarin Matthew Wegner Yongsong Wang Brian Dangren Bruce Kimbark Andreas Elio Carlisimo Jimmy Westberg Megan Kinal Tony Cooke 64 Mac Lotze Lord High Eric Romkema Arturo Solis Eric Santiago JZA James Brandtjen Richard Hudson Derek Brocklehurst David Emmons Josh Fox Anders(gurkan)Gunnarsson Susan Megalopolis David Ahn Jett Landicho Joe Bloggs Sir Justin Van Niejenhuis Bryce Kahle James Plunk Jordan Labbe Liam Brennand Sean Finn Wilkey, Jacob (son) VA Parsons Chuck Brother Dennis Brother DemonKlaw Stephanie Noah Hirsch This page was created on February 10, 1997. This page is not for the promotion of the game Mariokart or Mariokart 64. This page was not created by nor is endorsed by Nintendo. All use of copyrighted characters belong to Nintendo and a re used without permission. Updated on June 6th. Don't forget to visit our sister site, Sesame Hood! It's really cool.